LESSON 5 - ASSIGNMENT

Hello to my faithful followers, 

Isn't this just the loveliest day. Oh yes, it is raining buckets outside and I feel lucky to be alive and sharing my work in Lesson 5 of The Story Intensive. This one was all about plot & drift. I admit to having had some resistance here. I did what I trained myself to do now with the help of Sarah Selecky, my teacher and my fellow writer students, trust the process . I can't say enough how this is helping me grow, not only as a writer but as a person. 

A little note about this story. I needed to cut alot of the juicy details of it to fit the 300-500 words for the assignment, but I will try to post the whole story soon for you to get it all. Still, I feel it quite stands on its own. 

Thank you for stopping by.

DEAR DIRECTOR OF YOUTH PROTECTION,

I am writing this letter to tell you what I did was CHILD PROTECTION and why this unusual event took place today and why my actions may have been misconstrued by everyone implicated.

Earlier, on my daily walk, I notice this sweet little boy, barefoot, playing quietly in the sand, while his mother sat on a park bench, her cellphone cradled in her hand, instead of her son. She sounded like a child herself warning her son in her whiny voice. Mommy needs her phone-time, like you need your play-time. I’ll call you when I’m done.

This was not a safe situation; his mother not watching over her child’s safety.

Though, the outcome presented me with the advantage of taking a closer look at him. I noticed right away, his tiny frame lost in a worn down t-shirt that went down to his knees, his bony shoulders poking through the soft material. His arms and calves slightly bigger than the unsavory chicken legs I had for dinner last night. I sighed.

It was disturbing to me not to see him skipping up and down the monkey bars or the giant spider-web-like jungle gym, my nephew lives in whenever I bring him here.

I casually sat on the swing near him. It took all I had not to bend down to get even closer to him, he being so near me, I wanted to sweep him up, cradle him in a way he surely never had been. He then did the most remarkable thing in joining an ant in its daily labor, instead of crushing it, which I’m sorry to admit my nephew would have done without giving it a second thought. I wondered if his days were as laborious. It seemed he knew of the dulling work the ant repeats day by day to feed itself and the colony. From the gaunt looks of him, he did not get his three daily meals. He spread down on his stomach, gently leading the ant carrying its scavenged loot to its hole. He let another one climb on his index, watching closely from his under circled eyes, how it traveled freely up and down his hand, arm, and neck, the ant trusting this little giant would do it no harm. He smiled at it and I knew he needed me then.

I’ll swear to anyone who asks, his mom stayed on that phone for more than an hour, and you will find this as disturbing as I did, she never once looked up to see to the well-being of her son.

The helpers of the world.

Though I’m sure we all are familiar with the famous expression -shit happens-, we seem to think that when it hits the fan, or when we are swimming up in a creek full of it, we somehow, don’t know how to stay clear from it, be it blowing or drowning us.

All I can say for my defense is that I was eager to save an innocent child from his delinquent -ignorant in this case may be a kinder word- mother.

Isn’t a mother responsible for providing a safe, stable and nurturing environment for her child?

Well that’s what I was doing when the police stole him from me and put me in jail.

 Peggy Elms, writer

THE STORY INTENSIVE -LESSON 4- DIALOGUE

Hello this week I was working on Dialogue in the SSM classroom. Let me tell you this was challenging and envigorating. Here is my assignment. Enjoy and if you want to, leave your thoughts on it.

SOMEONE ELSE

He’s standing wearing only jeans. He left the top button undone, she hates looking at the tightness of the stomach she works so hard at keeping slim on her own body. In the doorway, he’s steadying himself, arms stretched, hands pressed to both sides of the frame. Still, he calls out like a spoiled child, pleading his defense.

Louise, no one is blaming you of any wrong doing. I’m only curious as how many hours you need to give this new boss every week. I remember you stating; “It’s policy. No overtime at The Firm”.

The woman, neatly dressed. Form fitted in a navy blue two-piece skirt suit stands facing him in the hall outside the apartment, both arms falling to her sides for seconds before she looks up in a controlled fury. Summoning the words, she is obviously tired of repeating to come out.

I told you weeks ago when I started working. Mr. Powers picked me out of the Legal-Assistant Pool of nine to work on this high-profile case. You knew this was coming. You’ll be busy with your hockey anyway.

She bends her head, wanting to go in under his held up arms. He resists, teasing her, then lowering them down to keep her from coming in.

Oh come on now, let me in so I can get my lunch bag and head on to work. I’m late and I still want a divorce Hank.

Whoa honey, slow down now. You know how I hate the divorce word.

He holds her by both her shoulders. He smiles at her with only one corner of his mouth lifting, he peers down, in her eyes. She looks down, at least escaping momentarily. His height and built given him the advantage.

I think I remember you telling me about some overtime, he says carefully picking a bunch of her neatly coiffed hair, to let it fall, unruly on her shoulder. She flinches.

You should know I can’t hear anything while I’m watching hockey.

He presses his lips to her neck in a half-kiss. She doesn’t move. She feels the pressure of his hands he’s measuring just so looking to meet her eyes, while she turns her head to one side and the other. He tries moving her out of the doorway and into the apartment by pushing his body against hers. But she backs outside again, just as the elevator bell rings and a couple come out, stopping to look at them. Louise fixes her hair. They give the impression of a couple who can’t get enough of each other. The neighbors nod, making their way down the hall. The surprise gave Louise time enough to put a distance between Hank and herself. Still, she stays and keeps arguing. Angry at the way he almost won her over.

Sex won’t make me change my mind Hank. I’m done with you ignoring me. Hockey is only one of our many issues…

Okay, okay, settle down, not so loud he cuts in. He tries to quiet her down. Afraid he’s made her cross. Here let me get your lunch bag and we can talk this over when you get home this afternoon. I’ll cook you your favorite dinner.

He goes in and comes out with the bag. Hands it to her. He leans in waiting for her to give an answer.

She waits a few seconds before she speaks again.

I, I can’t tonight, I have to work overtime.

What, what for? he says. The words barely come out. This is not what he had been imagining her response would be.

He feels cornered strangely wearing the disadvantage he’s feeling. It doesn’t sit well with him. His body is fighting not to go at her, he knows to slip his hands in his pockets which helps him calm down. He fights inwards a battle he’s not used to. His biceps can’t save him now. He slumps down, his back sliding down the door. All he can find are words now. They need to hurt, cut even. Instill fear like a hard pinch to wake her up. But he changes his mind and simply asks her if she can make something up to tell her boss and come home early.

Can’t you just tell your boss you need to be home early?

No. Hank, I love my work. As a matter of fact, my work has nothing to do with the fact that we are not compatible anymore. I don’t want us to go round and round anymore. It’s useless. You know it is. I know it is. Let’s get this divorce done and over with.

He looks up at her slowly registering changes in his wife. He thought he had her cornered a few minutes ago. He could have sworn, she felt it also, but something in her didn’t give in. He then noticed her beautifully sculpted black silk covered legs. The new clothes. She used to dress so unassumingly down for him. He remember having convinced her she look sleazy because of her curves. All I want is to protect you from dirty looks.

Now, in this navy blue jacket and skirt, she looked sophisticated, well-educated, and anything but sleazy.  Even with the tug he’d put in her flat ironed hair, she was still stunning.

Someone else was coaching her into this woman-of-the-world look and persona. Someone else was telling her just how beautiful, powerful and smart she was. Someone else…

He understood that this was a battle he would lose. She had been warning him for so long about this moment. The moment when he’d understand that he’d lost her for good. The moment when she would give her heart to someone else. He asked the obvious question to her.

Are you seeing someone else?

Yes Hank, I am.

Okay then. You got a lawyer?

Yes, she dug in her shoulder bag and took out a card and handed it to him and left. He took the card in his hand and pushed it in his back pocket. He waited until he heard the elevator bell ring making sure she had made it safely to the downstairs lobby before he took a few steps to peek at her walking away. When he saw her getting in a big white limousine. He realized that was her someone else.

He would find later on that same day that her someone else was Justin Powers.

Peggy Elms, writer.

THE STORY INTENSIVE- LESSON 3- SHOW AND TELL

Hello everyone, I am here today with this Exercise I did a few weeks ago. In my SSM classroom we did a SHOW-AND-TELL about a book we enjoy, a book we come back to. I did mine on RUSH HOME ROAD. You can read all about it and let me know what you think. (Of course for copyrights reasons I can't show you the excerpt, but I must say, a little trip to the library and you would be all set)

Candy canes

First, I want to tell you that Lori Lansens was introduced to me by my oldest sister Soelah. She was an avid reader. She introduced me to novel reading in bed at the age of 11. Since then, I don’t think I can remember a time I didn’t have a book on my bedside table. We have shared a lot of books together. But Lori Lansens was one of the last writers my sister suggested I read before she passed away in 2005 (yeah, breast cancer). Not only did we love the fact that she is Canadian, we were amazed of her insight on the black culture in Canada. I read Rush home road in a minute, so I read it again at a lower paste of a few days and went to the end over and over again until I stopped crying. Call me crazy, I’m just a sucker for a book that will go right through me.

Lori Lansens makes up ordinary characters living in ordinary circumstances; being an old black woman with a mixed color child and brings everything along the ride to make it into something that the reader relates too. Not forgetting the fact that she is white. I just have to bow before such judicious talent mixed with solid courage.

The narrative is a form we see a lot in novels, yet Lori pushes it up a few notches in the way I feel I am going through Addy’s hardships, though things would be so different today for her. In general society could not blame her for it now.

I am working on condensing my words so the readers feel like they’re watching a movie. It happens to me when remembering passages of this book. I see the whole scenes before my eyes. I want to write like that. I’m learning it’s possible. If anything, the writing in this story has shown it over and over. The best influence a writer can get.

To me, there is no “meh” writing in this book. Not everyone might agree with me. But, with all due respect, I will stand by my word. “Meh” writing would have been telling the whole story from beginning to end, chronologically. This is far from happening here. Keeps the reader curious and interested.

The book starts with Addy and Sharla living together. Great way to start a story right, in the middle. Fresh from Lesson 2, I smiled at the genius of Lori Lansens. The magic in Lori’s writing is we become these characters by the way she appeals to our own naiveté and humanity  both as we follow Addy Shadd back and forth through her life.

What always kept me interested was as I read along, she finds not only a way to salvage what seems to be a wasted life in being willing to care for another child whom has no ties or relations to her. That’s when humanity  ( or Lori, I should say) saves the day. With all that Addy has gone through, you’d think she would not give a damn, and in the beginning she doesn’t. Until she understands that she has no other choice. This is who she is. Her mission will be to secure the child’s future in finding someone trustworthy to care for her.

Here are some highlights for you:

At some point, Sharla is wondering about who will take care of her.

Who will have me? , such a 6 year old lost child question to ask and formulate this way because they don’t always have the words. Reading this, made me want to pick her up in my arms and scream: I will, I will. Yet, Lori Lansens, not only gets it right in words, but in emotion also. This is no time to show Sharla how desperate the situation can become (Addy is pushing 70, a not long ago non-smoker, she quit the summer she got Sharla) instead she reassures the child through common sense, humor on page 425. Great parenting skills and psychology here. (I admire this quality in any parent)

Addy has been having flashbacks of her younger years. She has been raped and shun by family and neighbors. So she leaves suffering poverty, trusting thee wrong people and many losses.

v  We learned O Canada in French. (details of interest for the reader and the fact that she is learning it in French is something that connects me to the story)

v  Mmm-hmm. (What mom doesn’t answer in this manner throughout the course of a day, love it.)

v  He make the bed with you in it? (the correct grammar would have been Did he make the bed with you in it?, but this is a child and the words she uses in the dialogue is different from the adults one. It sits naturally with the reader (me) and adds another touch of realism.)

v  Page 428-This part was complete magic to me, for poor Sharla, from where she come from, supper could have been magic, but Addy has this way of capting Sharla’s curiosity:

v  Addy glanced around mysteriously, then whispered “Santa’s a magical man, Sharla, and magic’s a thing not to question. Now you want to get up and go look in that closet or not?

The reader is in the room with Sharla and Addys, how can you not? It’s easy to understand by the way the child reacts. I sense maybe seeing, but not believing what she sees for she couldn’t dream this possible a few months ago. More, that someone would think of offering her a gift in the first place. I can read all this in these few words.

She could barely say the words.

The energy dashes to your heart with the next  two words:

“A television.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

Sharla was quiet for a long time before she said, “I never heard of Santa bringing no one a television before.

The chapter ending shows us how loving Addy is with her “girl” by being honest in telling Sharla that she is aware of the “bad things” she did, but emphasizes that she is “…mostly good” and .”knows that to be true”. How safe Sharla must feel with Mum’ Addy.

Little note about Lori Lansens I picked up while researching some interesting things to know about her. This has to be another reason why I love Lori’s writing so much. This is what she answered when asked what was the best advice she ever received. Parenting advice, she says. She walks the walk, not only talks the talk in her novels. I suspect, in her daily life too. Now that’s my kind of writer.

The best advice I received was parenting advice. It came from different sources. Condensed, it looks like this: Let them fall down. Let them fail. Let them bleed a little. Dirt’s okay. Let them suffer disappointment. It’s good for them to cry now and then, too. Comfort, but don’t coddle. Protect them from injury, but not pain. Pain teaches. Pain strengthens. Love them fiercely and tell them so every day.

Source for the whole interview:

https://beta.theglobeandmail.com/arts/books-and-media/lori-lansens-on-why-she-wrote-her-new-novel-the-books-she-reads-again-and-again-and-more/article24006081/?ref=http://www.theglobeandmail.com&

Thanks for stopping by it's always such a pleasure to know you care.